Randomness
by DragonGirl90
Summary: just some randomness inspired by my friends.
1. and so it begins

**this is based on my friends and our interaction. we really did choose those names for ourselves. sorry for the lack of FMA content but Eh what are you gonna do.**

**Still don't Own FMA you anoying people.**

* * *

"DEATH BE TO YOU IF I DON'T HAVE MY BOOKS BY FRIDAY!" a curly haired brunet girl shouted at the small red headed girl she had cornered.

"Ok, I already have two of them." The red head replied.

"Gimme!!!" the brunet said changing from angry teen to little kid in an instant.

"After class you two." A second brunet with straight hair said coming up to the girls. "Hey Lex, Hey leprechaun."

"I'm not a leprechaun!" the red head wailed as the other girls laughed at their friend.

"You can sympathize with Ed" the curly haired girl said laughing.

"Good one Lex, hey I know, her new name can be Ed!" the other brunet said laughing as the red head sulked.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the red head replied hearing the conversation "I don't want to be called Ed!"

"Well you have a choice Ed or leprechaun" the brunets replied together.

"ED!" the red head now dubbed Ed replied.

"Ed it is" the two other girls nodded to themselves.

"Hey we all should have FMA nicknames!" a black haired girl said joining in.

"We already have Ed, I'll be… Winry!" a blond girl who had come up with the black haired girl said.

"Yeah and I'm Scar!" the black haired girl said.

"No fair, both the best ones are taken!" the curly haired girl whined.

"I dub thee Al" the straight haired girl said tapping her friend on the head with a yoga mat.

"Me?! Al?! You're joking!" the curly haired girl said aghast, "come on what about me is Al-like?"

"Your name can be shortened to Al" 'Ed' said helpfully.

"But… I don't act like him at all! I swear, I plot, I rush in blindly, I encourage bad behavior and fighting the power, oh an the fact that I tease people way too often and take pleasure in other's pain." The curly haired girl said counting on her fingers why she had no resemblance to Al at all. "I could do Envy…"

"No homunculi" 'Winry' said.

"Why not?" the curly haired girl said.

"Cause it's not fair" 'Scar' said

"Hey Lex, I will be Mustang if you be Al" the straight haired brunet said.

"Hmmmmm, fine" newly dubbed 'Al' said laughing "you win 'Mustang'"

"So, what now?" 'Ed' asked.

"Well first you need your hair braded 'Ed'" 'Al' said.

"No, I don't want to…" 'Ed' began but was cut off in mid rant by 'Mustang' grabbing her hair and beginning to braid it.

"Ha, that's a funny picture, Mustang braiding Ed's hair." 'Scar' said as all the girls laughed.

"I can picture it now" 'Al' choked out between laughing. "Just imagine if they acted like we do."

* * *

"Hold still Fullmetal" Roy Mustang said as the blond fidgeted.

"You're pulling it too hard" He whined as the tall man's fingers braided his hair.

"Well you can't very well go around with your hair down Ed" Al said reclining on the couch as his brother was forced to endure the ritual.

"Ed look who I found, he was lost!" Winry said as she entered with Scar not far behind.

"Sup" Al said waiving a hand at the new arrivals.

"Nooooooo!" Ed screeched trying to free himself from Mustangs grip.

"I got you now Chibi Leprechaun squirrel" Scar said laughing evilly "prepare to be poked!"

"Help!" Ed whimpered pulling free and hiding behind Al.

"Oh grow up you two dumbasses" Al growled as Scar attempted to poke Ed who kept using Al as a shield.

"Really you two" Mustang said echoing Al's sentiment.

"Well Ed I see only two options" Al said.

"What?" Ed asked climbing on his armored brother.

"One you run far away change your name and become a stock broker for a bankrupt company" Al said as everyone but Ed laughed.

"Or?" Ed said panicked as Scar began to climb as well.

"Or you face your fear and become a man!" Al said picking him up and handing him to Scar.

"No Al you are supposed to protect me!" Ed wailed as he ran out the door closely followed by Scar.

"Shall we follow?" Winry asked the two in the room.

"We had better, or they might get in trouble" The two replied getting up they could hear Ed's girlish shrieks for each time he was poked by Scar.

"Hey looked it's raining!" Mustang said excitedly jumping up and down and clapping like a high school girl.

"Sweet!" Al said and they both ran out and began playing in the puddles and laughing like morons.

"Hey Scar wait up!" Winry said as she saw the man.

"Save me!" Ed wailed hiding behind her.

"I'm not a good shield I will just push you to him." Winry said.

"They still at it?" a thoroughly soaked Mustang asked walking next to an equally wet Al.

"You two done?" Winry asked.

"Yup" they responded, Mustang grinning like and idiot, "we like water."

Ed climbed into Al's armor and shouted triumphantly "yes I'm safe!"

"Poke" Scar said poking Al.

"Poke me again and die" Al growled grabbing Scar's hand.

"Then give me Ed" Scar huffed

"Deal" Al said pulling out the young alchemist.

"Nooooooooo!" Ed screeched again. "Help me someone!" He shouted, whimpering about being poked. He made to dash off but was looking behind him and didn't notice the wall he was barreling towards until Al grabbed his sleeve. "What?" Ed asked until he did see the wall "oh thanks Al" he said beginning his mad dash in a new direction.

"God they are so immature" Al sighed as Winry ran after the departing pair so she could talk to Scar.

"Yup" Mustang said as he and Al walked slowly after the group talking calmly.

Al and Mustang caught up to the three and Ed began to hide behind them again. Scar and Winry were ahead of them and Al shared a mischevious look with Mustang.

"Hey Ed, you should go defrnd your woman" Mustnag said with a smirk.

"what?"

"yeah, look Scar is moveing in on Winry brother" Al said.

"but..." Ed began.

"or do you not care?" Mustang said.

"Ed you have to go up there and show Winry what a man you are!" Al laughed as the armor and Colonel pushed the trembling boy towards Scar.

"Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!" Ed screamed as they pushed him into Scar and Scar resumed pokeing him.

* * *

"That would be funny" the other girls agreed.

* * *

**Yeah, well R&R and be carefull of thinking about it too hard.**


	2. story time

**Ok I know it has been a long time, and I have a lot of excuses too, but I will spare you and get on with the fic. All you need to know that this is like my first chapter of randomness as in the characters are based off my friends nicknames, some changes are that I (formerly Al) am now Scar, old Scar left, we have a new Al, and everyone else is the same. Enjoy (this actually sort of happened today)

* * *

**

Scar and Ed were in the library together browsing through the books because they could. Suddenly Ed growled to himself "gah! I don't want to read anymore! It's stupid" Scar looked at the boy who was making a scene and glanced at the text in front of the boy…

"Fairy tales?" Scar asked out loud wondering why Ed was reading such a book.

"Yeah the colonel says I have to read it and that there will be a test but…" Ed explained sticking his bottom lip out. "…I don't wanna!" he started crying.

"Uh…" Scar looked around nervously wondering if he could just blow up the brat… but that might get blood on the books…so he tried a different tactic. "Hey Fullmetal, I could read it to you, you know if you want me too"

At this Ed stopped crying and blinked a few times at the large man before whipping out a blue blanket and a teddy bear and sitting in a corner. Scar looked at him questioningly before shrugging it off and picking up the book.

"Once upon a time…" Scar began as Ed listened between giggling to himself about story time.

"…the end." Scar sighed closing the book after reading it all. He looked at Ed who had long ago fallen asleep and was slumped over drooling. "Stupid kid" Scar muttered and left the library.

The next day Scar was out blowing up some Alchemist brains when Ed found him. "Hey Scar!" he shouted.

Scar turned to see Ed before a paper was thrust into his face. "What the…" Scar stammered.

"I passed! I passed the test!" Ed shouted "thanks to you! You're the Best!" Ed started dancing around while Scar decided what to do. "Oh hey I have to read this book can we have another story time?" Ed asked throwing Scar a book.

"…Fairy tales two point oh?... what the hell two point oh!?" Scar shouted reading the title.

"Yup" Ed chimed "well?"

"Will you go away if I say yes?" Scar groaned thinking that he never wanted to have kids of his own.

"No silly I'll have to listen, but if you say no I'll just follow you everywhere new big brother!"

"New big brother?! What the hell!" Scar shouted

"Come on story time, story time, story time!" Ed chanted.

"Ihsballa Save ME!" Scar yelled to the heavens.

* * *

**Yay there is something... the true story is that i read the questions on the work sheet to Ed and she then asked me to give her the answers too. almost as annoying.**


	3. the plotters

**Ah friends and high school life can make up for a dead muse quite effectivly, Kiki and i are so evil to our friends... ha ha li love my life sometimes.**

"Heeeey Scar wait up

"Heeeey Scar wait up!" Ed called out running up to the Ishballen man

Scar groaned and turned to face the small boy his latest victim (a bystander who had mentioned that he fit a stereotype) dangling from his hand. "What is it you idiot, just because I decided not to kill you does not make us friends!" he shouted.

"Read me a new story?" Ed asked/pleaded making puppy dog eyes.

"No already go bug your own brother."

"But he pokes me!" Ed whined. Scar dropped the corpse and flexed his hand growling.

"I can do worse" Scar said simply a malicious grin working onto his face.

"Don't kill me I have cheese!" Ed shouted, cowering.

"Cheese? What the…"

"And chocolate! All you can eat! Spare me!" Ed was in tears now gripping Scars leg and crying into it. "Please I'm too young to die; I haven't even gotten to vote!"

"We aren't in a democr…"

"I want to live please don't kill me!"

"Shrimp-cake let go!"

"Spare me, if not for me, for you! Think of your soul!"

"Dude, not kidding off!"

"I have so much to…" Scar smacked him causing him to let go and blink dazedly as tears kept streaming down his face.

"I said let go of me twerp!" Scar growled glaring at the boy.

"Yo Scar, Ed what's up?" Mustang asked approaching the two.

"My dear friend Ed here was giving me his cheese and chocolate" Scar said grinning and pulling Ed up to his feet.

"I was?" Ed asked confused

"Ohh cheese and chocolate! As your superior officer I demand some too Edward!"

"What?!"

"Come on Edo don't be stingy" Scar said smiling like the cat that ate the canary. "We all are friends here."

"But you said…"

"Now Ed" the two adults said.

"Well that was productive" Scar said through a mouthful of cheese.

"Quite pleasure doing business with you Scar" Mustang agreed.

"That was my lunch!" Ed whined as the two walked off.

"Good too, but next time bring more" Scar grinned waving at Ed as they got further from him.

"I hear Al has cookies" Mustang mentioned.

"So you want to be the first to meet him of should I this time?" Scar asked.

"Well, I think I will, wait for your cue."

"Yes sir" Scar laughed as he and Mustang spotted the other Elric, "let's see you top me"

"Any time Scar any time."

"Twenty bucks says I'm faster"

"Make it thirty and you're on"

"Deal"

"Let's do it"

And so the two got into position and robbed Al of the cookies.

"Time" Mustang asked.

"Three minutes. Pay up" Scar held out his hand.

"Shoot, well a deals a deal and we still got cookies."

"Same time tomorrow?"

"As always!" both men went their separate ways laughing and plotting.

**Just so you don't get the wrong impression, we did let the two have some for themselves, but we are a tag team to get the best parts... the sad part is they don't catch on... oh well revewers get some of the spoils! also i am now accepting reader ideas of what we should do, as long as it fits our personalitys.**


	4. llama

**hi, this happend a while ago, but i just now got around to typing it up, just FYI if any of you are watching my other stories brotherhood oneshots should have a new chapter or two shortly, False home will eventualy... like before the end of november hopefully have a new chapter, some stories may dissapear, mostly those i have no more ideas to continue, if anyone has a problem with any story i take down just message me and i'll see what i can do about it, anyway a mile in my shoes is in progress again... although many characters may be OOC at points and Ed will be heard from less at the rate i'm going in that one, also my crack stories may get new chapers, even crazy in normal that is labled compleat may find a new chapter... i dunno though, anyway college is killing me slowly, in a differnt way than high school, argh, i hate not haveing any spending money...**

**anyway enough of that, it is late, i am tired, it is monday, i have an eight o clock class in the morning, i have a half hour walk to get there, i need a breakfast before since it is math, breakfast takes half an hour here, argh i should be asleep... but of course i can't, i'm too tired to sleep... that makes no sence... i am acting like two differnt people in as many paragraphs... oh and i have a club meating tomorrow!**

**oh right and i don't own FMA... that too... wow i'm whiney tonight! anyway enjoy!**

"Hey guys" Scar said taking a seat next to Edward and across from Roy.

"Hiya Scar!" Ed chirped "Hey we both got the same lunch! Isn't that cool?"

"Why in the world did I give you that chocolate earlier?" Scar muttered to himself. Then he looked across the table to see what Roy was doing. Roy was not paying any attention to what was going on as he had his nose firmly planted in a book. "What 'cha ree-aadin'?" Scar asked.

Roy glanced up quickly and tilted the book up so Scar could just see Twilight inscribed on the cover. Then Roy returned to his reading.

"Yeah, all day Colonel Mustang has been a boring bookworm!" Ed giggled as Scar smirked.

"Have not" Roy denied turning the page without looking up.

"Duly noted, honestly I don't care; I myself am often a bookworm. However weren't you the one who said that you would never read Twilight?" Scar laughed a little and kept the smirk on his face.

"Who is reading Twilight?" Winry asked coming in.

"Mustang" Scar and Ed replied and the three shared a knowing look.

"Ah so the Colonel has finally come to terms with it." Winry sighed.

"What? That vamps are awesome?" Ed innocently asked. Winry and Scar who knew just where she was going with that comment smirked.

"Not quiet. I was talking about how in Twilight there is a hot and smexy golden eyed seventeen year old named Edward." Winry said laughing.

"What?! EW, No, no no no no no no no!" Roy and Ed both shouted looking disgusted and staring at Winry and Scar who were laughing their heads off.

"Priceless." Scar sighed as he got control of his breathing again.

"You guys…. I can't read like this!" Roy growled getting up and stomping out of the room. Winry sat down at the computer and began doing something while Ed and Scar continued their lunches and discussed the Colonel's love life. After about ten minutes Winry turned to face Scar and Ed with puppy dog eyes.

"Guys…" she said.

"Yes…" they replied wary of her.

"Could you go get Roy pweese!" she begged.

"Why?" Scar asked still on edge.

"'Cause I wanna go on a site he knows." Winry said.

"Fine" Scar sighed getting up "Edo throw this out for me" he added tossing his trash at Ed. Scar found Roy just in the next room "yo! Winry wants you Roy" Scar said.

"Tough, tell her to deal" Roy grunted. Scar rolled his eyes and returned to relay the message to Winry.

"He says to deal with it." Scar told Winry preparing to sit down again.

"Tell him it's important." She pressed.

"I doubt it will change anything, wait until he puts the book down" Scar grunted.

"That could be days, he reads slow" Ed said.

"Slow huh? And who is it that has had my book for three months now?" Scar asked.

"Now, now Scar we can't all read like the wind like you do." Winry tried to help Ed.

"Three months! Three months Winry! My brother could read it faster and he is incredibly slow! And it is not even a novel it's a manga!"

"Ouch" Winry grunted "anyway go get Roy"

"The things I do for you people" Scar muttered standing again this time he grabbed Ed's arm pulling the boy to his feet.

"Hey Scar let go" Ed whined.

"No Edo" Scar said "you are coming with me"

"Why?"

"Because misery loves company, that and you are cuter than I am."

"… oh no Scar, not you too!" Ed shrieked horrified trying to run for it.

"I meant cute like a puppy dog you goof, anyway we all know how much Roy loves cute puppies."

"Hey Roy, she says it's important." Scar said still holding onto a whining Ed.

"I'm ignoring all of you" Roy said.

"Mm hmm" Scar hummed "Edo talk to him"

"Why do you always call me Edo?"

"Do you like Edo-kun better?"

"No"

"Then that's why"

"… Your logic is astounding"

"Do your thing Edo"

"Ay captain" Ed said snapping a salute. "Roy, please"

"No"

"Pretty please?"

"Go bug your brother"

"Roooy"

"Nooooo"

"I'll make Winry buy you a milkshake"

"How noble"

"Are you really sure"

"Really, really, go away"

"Not even for a minute?"

"I am not leaving this chair Ed, got it?"

"Ok" Ed chirped and Scar rolled his eyes preparing to walk back into the other room and telling Winry to just talk to Roy herself when he stopped hearing Roy shout out. He looked back to see Ed grabbing Roy's chair and rolling it to the doorway. "Out of the way Scar" Ed called.

"Ed stop it. Let go" Roy growled.

"You said you wouldn't leave the chair." Ed reasoned.

"You did say that Roy" Scar said between cackling laughter as he held the door open for Ed.

Roy glared "traitors" he muttered before deciding to just get pushed along.

Ed pushed him all the way to the computer and rammed Roy's knees into the wall. "Ow watch it Ed" Roy grunted.

"oh good you got him" Winry said "hey Roy, how did you find that animal personality quiz site?" everyone, Scar and Ed who had been laughing and were expectant of Winry's wish and Roy who had been ignoring his insane group of friends were dead silent staring at her.

"…that was the important site?" Scar asked after a few minutes.

"… Wow" Ed said.

"… you had them harass me for that?!" Roy shouted "I was reading!"

"It'll only take a second" Winry said.

"I can't believe you!"

"Wow" Scar and Ed said together "just wow"

"Please Roy"

"… uh I just googled it"

"Yeah under what key words"

"Oh I don't know 'animal personality test' maybe!" Roy growled.

"Uh huh and how far down the list?" Winry said doing just that and sounding serious.

"I don't know! I went to a lot how am I supposed to know!" Roy shouted he stood up and grabbed the chair pulling it back to the room it belonged in and presumably resuming reading.

"Wow" Scar and Ed said again looking at each other knowing that they would have to deal with an upset and angry Roy for the rest of the day.

"I don't know why he was so upset" Winry grumbled. Clicking on a test "ok let's see…"

Ed and Scar moved in to look at the screen finding a momentary distraction from their own sorry fates in seeing what animal Winry would be put as.

Five minutes later…

Roy glanced up as Ed and Scar exited the room sniggering and Winry stormed out glaring at them. "Not a word that test lies!" she hissed glareing at Scar in particular.

"What happened?" Roy asked curious.

"Well she took a test----"Scar began.

"No! It lies that is not what I am!" Winry shrieked lunging at Scar who laughed evilly.

"And?" Roy pressed needing to know.

Scar looked over at Winry who was fuming in a corner he got a little demon angel kind of face before he bent down to whisper in Roy's ear. Roy grinned and Winry shrieked tackling Scar.

"I told you not to!" she shouted. While Scar grinned and laughed.

"You're a Llama?!" Roy laughed.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Winry shouted while her friends laughed.

…**you know with these stories one outside our group may think we are really bad friends… particularly me… oh well, it gives fuel. Oh and sadly this may be the last unless i type up older events , I am in college now, and away from these friends, I have a new group of anime friends, they are just as insane, but we don't have character nicknames from any fandom… I'm now Fluffy Alex since we have like four Alex's both male and female… I went from Scar to Fluffy Alex… it astounds me.**


End file.
